Ahem, what do Orwell and Darwin have in common? (Some people may ask) Well, this is actually about how those two geniuses can be so different and yet lead to the same dictum. Darwin led the revolution in scientific thinking of how all the diversity in nature was the product of "natural selection" and Orwell is one of few who wrote with certainty the doubtless evolution of society towards evil oligarchy. Oligarchy of the few smart or priviliged ones , the faces of who may change following "revolutions", but the end is always the same balance in society.
Masses of creatures allow variations to accumulate, such that should some of them move to a different place, or the climate change a little, some of them survive better than the others and the species survives and maybe gives rise to a new one. However, all species, do the same thing, live, eat,reproduce, fight and die. So Orwell says, the result of variations in the human population are always the same. Ignorant masses, easily hypnotized by speeches and grandeur,are used by the few powerful leaders, through smart talkers. As those in power constantly create diversions that either terrify or make deliriously happy the people they "rule" such that the real issues are neither discussed nor solved or even thought about. What is the real issue for a species : to survive. And there, even the most evolved, like the cockroach, are at mercy of nature. So, they at least take reassurance in that mother nature is always looking to keep the smartest or the strongest of them, for the future, for their own good. Sounds like the theme from Animal Farm and 1984. So, who is big brother? Is that God? Well, no, God is good. Omnipresent, pray and you shall be heard. He will give you what you deserve and if you don't get that, then you didn't deserve it in the first place. Or you can wait, the time isn't right, not just yet, look at all those around you, suffering, aren't you better off from those dying of starvation and yellow fever or some other color fever? And yet you ask for more!! Pray, because He has been kind enough to let you be disease-free and fed.
Darwin talks about the requirement of variation in the populations of species, for natural selection to act on and favor one over the other, under changing conditions. Orwell, thinks that conditions might change, revolutions may happen, but the "social "order of things will stay the same. In some cases man is big brother, as we exploit the environment for first our good and then because there is no other way. Then we exploit each other, again using the same excuses, why, the "American"Indians have been moved to reservations for the sake of development. The naxalites are terrorists and hinder economic development of our great nation. The nation that ignores its people, because they have always been hidden in forests minding their own business, is in turn ignored or exploited for its own good. It is told, you are too unstable to harbor nuclear weapons and how are we going to maintain world order if every little third world country wants to go to the moon and have nuclear energy, what next? Next they will all want food and water for everyone! Let us take your minerals and cheap labor and we will show you how to live.
But there is poetic justice, what was once Great Britain, is not so great anymore and what now is the United States may well end up someone else's bitch.
Hence, all is in order. The names in that order change, maybe there is a God after all. As some of us gaze in awe at the diversity of life and how much we don't know about so much and how much we will never know about, say dinosaurs. How we all started from a single-celled organism- a point in dispute and will remain so , it seems, now and forever. The more things change the more they remain the same. Someone will soon find a better way to find fault on some minor detail in a way a small snail evolved, or even better in human paleontology. And the masses needing some way to stay hopeful will throw evolution out of books. Because isn't it a threat to the existence God?However,if He exists , then is He not big brother incarnate, for tortured creatures dying all the time without having had a life cannot be for the good of all. And if He is making it hard for our own good, because He knows best.We may write books and have theories and find a cure to cancer, make electrons and protons clash at the speed of light, if He in fact is in control then all that doesn't mean anything.He can make all that a lie in a whiff of smoke All that makes life easier for a few, interesting for a few more. But most of the proles-masses, just barely exist and couldn't care less. A large number of them pray for His kindness and mercy way more than the ones that seem to be under His special care. The concept of heaven or hell,makes their harsh realities bearable, but the mere concept of a heavenly abode in the sky is even more ludicrous than animals taking over a farm and making a windmill. Therefore the smart ones, play demigods and pull strings wherever possible. Exploit and brain wash whoever possible to try and get to the top of the order, be closer to big brother in spirit.
In the end, our evolution, if indeed we are evolving, is not in our control . We keep on endlessly cycling and recycling thoughts that have always existed in different minds.
So do Darwin and Orwell have a common thread? Yes, that the order of things as they are, has existed well before mankind and will continue to exist through the time alloted to mankind and well beyond.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Never Enough
In the last few days of my trip to India, I thought, Oh! if only I could have stayed a little longer. And then I realized,it's what I would think even if I had stayed a year. No amount of time is enough to soak up all the love and attention ( though it does tend to slack off a bit after a month or two) Then I started to think when was the last time that I thought, alright, this is enough of ........, I am happy with it. Well, maybe my time at IISc. But in the end, I hadn't really wanted to leave so many things undone even there.
So my conclusion was, there will never be enough time or love or success that will make me think it was enough. I will have to strive to achieve the contentment, from as much as I have been endowed with. And of course, as is usually the case, all that deep thinking , wasn't really required to arrive at this conclusion. Everyone already knows this and if I were Shakespeare, I would have been able to put this common wisdom into better prose.
Taking a macroscopic view, the world will never have neough of Nelson Mandelas, Mother Teresas maybe even Einsteins, Isaac Newtons, J.B. Haldanes ( though, being in the scientific field, I have come to accept that all of the big scientists were not indispensable, someone would have figured it out anyway, maybe not with the same flare, but eventually..). I have started to think that while science maybe a hard conceptually and not everyones cup of tea , plus the ultimate thing that will help mankind in the end ( I don't mean the biblical end), being a politician can't be a cake walk either. And in terms of what the politicians ( and here I include thefreedom fighters, and the Hitlers) have "achieved" or have the power to achieve, scientists mostly because of how removed we are from reality ( needing clairvoyance to justify our existence) don't do so much for an average person. I know, I know, what about all the cures and the vaccines ?? well, I would think they rank much lower than freedom of movement and thought. Because while there can be enough freedom( Oh yes!! there is atleast one such thing) there shouldn't be too little of it. And I would prefer to die of a disease than live in a coercive and unjust society.
Maybe I am underplaying the scientists because I am one of them. Maybe towards the bottom rather than the top of the pile, but still. I think while we enjoy glorifying ourselves ( there can never be enough publications) the real world doesn't figure into our image of self. For as many of them as I have met atleast. I am sure, there are a lot of them into social work, but there is a reason we don't immediately think of a socially active or aware person when we think about scientists. They will all have opinions ( or else what use are their brains), but what they do with that.. is in short , not enough.
So my conclusion was, there will never be enough time or love or success that will make me think it was enough. I will have to strive to achieve the contentment, from as much as I have been endowed with. And of course, as is usually the case, all that deep thinking , wasn't really required to arrive at this conclusion. Everyone already knows this and if I were Shakespeare, I would have been able to put this common wisdom into better prose.
Taking a macroscopic view, the world will never have neough of Nelson Mandelas, Mother Teresas maybe even Einsteins, Isaac Newtons, J.B. Haldanes ( though, being in the scientific field, I have come to accept that all of the big scientists were not indispensable, someone would have figured it out anyway, maybe not with the same flare, but eventually..). I have started to think that while science maybe a hard conceptually and not everyones cup of tea , plus the ultimate thing that will help mankind in the end ( I don't mean the biblical end), being a politician can't be a cake walk either. And in terms of what the politicians ( and here I include thefreedom fighters, and the Hitlers) have "achieved" or have the power to achieve, scientists mostly because of how removed we are from reality ( needing clairvoyance to justify our existence) don't do so much for an average person. I know, I know, what about all the cures and the vaccines ?? well, I would think they rank much lower than freedom of movement and thought. Because while there can be enough freedom( Oh yes!! there is atleast one such thing) there shouldn't be too little of it. And I would prefer to die of a disease than live in a coercive and unjust society.
Maybe I am underplaying the scientists because I am one of them. Maybe towards the bottom rather than the top of the pile, but still. I think while we enjoy glorifying ourselves ( there can never be enough publications) the real world doesn't figure into our image of self. For as many of them as I have met atleast. I am sure, there are a lot of them into social work, but there is a reason we don't immediately think of a socially active or aware person when we think about scientists. They will all have opinions ( or else what use are their brains), but what they do with that.. is in short , not enough.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Missing the absence
I have been here in the states for more than three years now (if you ask my dad he would tell you the exact number of days). I had somehow felt a strange sense of deja vu when I came here, it was as if I had walked on the streets before, seeing strange people with of various colors ( not just skin color) walk by me and say things in the hope of exchanging pleasantries didn't seem strange at all. I know the source of that, after all I knew since I was about 13 yrs old that I would do a PhD in biology in the US. ( At least, I knew what I wanted when I was 13, I must be a specimen of reverse metamorphosis). And that, from the kid I used to be who refused to acknowledge adults ( friends of my mom's) on the street like other well- mannered kids would. Though, I should say that the exchanges of pleasantries with people here, was rather one sided, I merely smiled then and now I smile and nod.
Everyone here wants to know everyone else at some level or atleast wants to announce there own presence, while I have always wanted to be a part of the wood-work or concrete or whichever object that blends in with the surroundings. Though, wanting something rarely precedes getting it and unfortunately I have always attracted attention and usually of the wrong kind.
Except here, where I think I would have been the least conspicuous person had I not been an "Indian girl" (no, she is not mexican) . But I am okay with that, as long as people announce their presence and other than the nod don't really expect anything more. Or am I?
Well, scientifically I am certainly not okay with not knowing enough people. It used to be much easier in India, just walk out of your lab and you have the option of talking to anyone from any field you like. Not that there aren't people here, or that there isn't variety ( which I already mentioned exists). After all, its a famous university full of brilliant people (I am sure). But I don't know any of them. In fact, I might not even know most of their names, let alone know them personally. So I have like three people I can talk about my work, unless you count the other three I talk long distance with. But what can you do if you are reserved, can't drink coffee or beer. Where in my last institute I just had friends who had been with me since college and I was in a big lab and a big department so I had never needed to find a reason, place and time to talk about work.
But as far as the anonymity being here provides me, I haven't been able to decide whether I absolutely like it or not. I don't dislike it. But for some times..
Sometimes I wish I could hear my favorite song being played inside shops or you know how that right song, coming from the neighbors' windows can cheer you up unexpectedly. When I hear a familiar language (Hindi or Bengali) being spoken somewhere around me, my ears sort of get entrained towards it and I strain to catch a few words. This, when I used to block out all conversations, including the ones I was supposed to be involved in.
I still have some time to decide what I want for a future (since I haven't decided yet it must mean I have time). And that would include in which continent, should I get the luxury to get picky, I would like to live for the next ten years or for the rest of my life. The longing to belong somewhere or to be where you belong is, surprisingly, overpowering my focus on science. I hadn't anticipated that. I have always been able to put work before everything (even then, the status of my PhD is laughable) and technically the genetic system that I want to work in, is nearly impossible to maintain and run in India, we are still more than a decade behind and will probably continue to lag for some time. I would like to think that I could actually take that a step ahead. But I am not very confident of being able to be that "leader". My one hope is to get that confidence and then it would be a straightforward choice. I may not actually miss the convenience of getting everything I need in a day, and OMG if its really late and too expensive it will have to be six weeks. Compare that to the once in a couple of years that we used to order from Sigma, from literally the richest lab of the time, at IISc, Bangalore. We will have to see. Maybe I will be a scientific writer and get to bring minds together and connect things, which by far interests me more than even complex genetic diseases. That would be ideal, who wants to run a lab?
All these disjointed thoughts and I know it is about something that's missing.. I think I was better without these thoughts, then I could focus on the work at hand and take it a step at a time. Not worry about things way beyond my control. Where did this confusion come from? I want it to go.. find someone else. I was much better without it.
Everyone here wants to know everyone else at some level or atleast wants to announce there own presence, while I have always wanted to be a part of the wood-work or concrete or whichever object that blends in with the surroundings. Though, wanting something rarely precedes getting it and unfortunately I have always attracted attention and usually of the wrong kind.
Except here, where I think I would have been the least conspicuous person had I not been an "Indian girl" (no, she is not mexican) . But I am okay with that, as long as people announce their presence and other than the nod don't really expect anything more. Or am I?
Well, scientifically I am certainly not okay with not knowing enough people. It used to be much easier in India, just walk out of your lab and you have the option of talking to anyone from any field you like. Not that there aren't people here, or that there isn't variety ( which I already mentioned exists). After all, its a famous university full of brilliant people (I am sure). But I don't know any of them. In fact, I might not even know most of their names, let alone know them personally. So I have like three people I can talk about my work, unless you count the other three I talk long distance with. But what can you do if you are reserved, can't drink coffee or beer. Where in my last institute I just had friends who had been with me since college and I was in a big lab and a big department so I had never needed to find a reason, place and time to talk about work.
But as far as the anonymity being here provides me, I haven't been able to decide whether I absolutely like it or not. I don't dislike it. But for some times..
Sometimes I wish I could hear my favorite song being played inside shops or you know how that right song, coming from the neighbors' windows can cheer you up unexpectedly. When I hear a familiar language (Hindi or Bengali) being spoken somewhere around me, my ears sort of get entrained towards it and I strain to catch a few words. This, when I used to block out all conversations, including the ones I was supposed to be involved in.
I still have some time to decide what I want for a future (since I haven't decided yet it must mean I have time). And that would include in which continent, should I get the luxury to get picky, I would like to live for the next ten years or for the rest of my life. The longing to belong somewhere or to be where you belong is, surprisingly, overpowering my focus on science. I hadn't anticipated that. I have always been able to put work before everything (even then, the status of my PhD is laughable) and technically the genetic system that I want to work in, is nearly impossible to maintain and run in India, we are still more than a decade behind and will probably continue to lag for some time. I would like to think that I could actually take that a step ahead. But I am not very confident of being able to be that "leader". My one hope is to get that confidence and then it would be a straightforward choice. I may not actually miss the convenience of getting everything I need in a day, and OMG if its really late and too expensive it will have to be six weeks. Compare that to the once in a couple of years that we used to order from Sigma, from literally the richest lab of the time, at IISc, Bangalore. We will have to see. Maybe I will be a scientific writer and get to bring minds together and connect things, which by far interests me more than even complex genetic diseases. That would be ideal, who wants to run a lab?
All these disjointed thoughts and I know it is about something that's missing.. I think I was better without these thoughts, then I could focus on the work at hand and take it a step at a time. Not worry about things way beyond my control. Where did this confusion come from? I want it to go.. find someone else. I was much better without it.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Thanks
Thank you people for your sincere concern .. And to others who read the post and got to know him a little.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
For Divesh Thimmaiya, till we meet again..
I never thought I would start a blog, though writing is something I have even considered to take up as a profession. But there is nowhere else I can tell people about the friend I lost this saturday. The friend I had not even seen in 4 yrs but it feels like just yesterday he was grinning at me from the side of the street and saying "I like it... (pause) I like it". Someone who could make even the grouchiest person (that would be me) smile at any time of the day or night. I want to know what he had been planning , because he always had plans, on friday , or last week or last month. Not just plans that people make and never carry out, he made plans that he would make work. I want to know what were the things that had made him smile recently, because , as I told him frequently, his was one winning smile. And those eyes, I will never forget them. They were one of the brightest I have ever seen. Moreover, I want to know what he wants me to do now. I don't want to forget anything he ever said to me. And that is not a problem, I have an excellent memory ( which is why I am grouchy) but at least this time, it will serve a good purpose. I remember he said that honesty is overrated, noone can be honest all the time, lies save people, there are things you should be able to lie about , it is integrity that is important. He must have been 23 when he said that and I have never had anyone say something that profound. He had a big heart that could hold hundreds of people in it and still remember all their names and interests. When he walked into a room, people turned to look. He worked hard and partied harder. He was opinionated and didn't pull the punches, if thats what he thought was needed.
The last time I talked to him I was complaining about how I had no results and he had said that " Bada kaam kar raha hain bachcha, time to lagega" . I don't think I am doing anything big, but that sure made me feel a hundred times better and all important all of a sudden.
I wish I had called him, but my preoccupations seemed so important at the time and the fact that I knew he had many many friends and wasn't exactly waiting by the phone for my call, had me delay that indefinitely. What I hadn't realized was, that I needed to talk to him, I needed him to bring back clarity of thought using his unmatched sense of humor. I needed him. I still do. And he is gone. The one guy I knew who could actually bring change ( ask anyone at IISc, who was there before he came and since..) is gone. I was one of the privileged people who knew him. And God knows that if he hadn't been such an incorrigible flirt I wouldn't have known him at all. Thank God he drove his bike at my pace beside me around the M - Block hostel till I got on it finally. His "Oye Soniye!!!" which he used on as many females as he knew, I think, could still flatter all of them . I apparently blushed. Thats something, I never blush and to this day I would contest his observation. Maybe not.
I never knew anyone from his family, but I want them to know that not only did their son live life to the fullest making each day count, he left a mark on everyone whose life he touched. I didn't even know him for more than 6 - 8 months before I left IISc, and then India. But distances didn't matter with him. I always imagined him busy doing something interesting or annoying. And in my dreams he will continue to do that always. And till we meet again, I will live like he would have, or at least try to. But Divesh, you nut, wait till I get my hands on you ... Just you wait.
Ishita
The last time I talked to him I was complaining about how I had no results and he had said that " Bada kaam kar raha hain bachcha, time to lagega" . I don't think I am doing anything big, but that sure made me feel a hundred times better and all important all of a sudden.
I wish I had called him, but my preoccupations seemed so important at the time and the fact that I knew he had many many friends and wasn't exactly waiting by the phone for my call, had me delay that indefinitely. What I hadn't realized was, that I needed to talk to him, I needed him to bring back clarity of thought using his unmatched sense of humor. I needed him. I still do. And he is gone. The one guy I knew who could actually bring change ( ask anyone at IISc, who was there before he came and since..) is gone. I was one of the privileged people who knew him. And God knows that if he hadn't been such an incorrigible flirt I wouldn't have known him at all. Thank God he drove his bike at my pace beside me around the M - Block hostel till I got on it finally. His "Oye Soniye!!!" which he used on as many females as he knew, I think, could still flatter all of them . I apparently blushed. Thats something, I never blush and to this day I would contest his observation. Maybe not.
I never knew anyone from his family, but I want them to know that not only did their son live life to the fullest making each day count, he left a mark on everyone whose life he touched. I didn't even know him for more than 6 - 8 months before I left IISc, and then India. But distances didn't matter with him. I always imagined him busy doing something interesting or annoying. And in my dreams he will continue to do that always. And till we meet again, I will live like he would have, or at least try to. But Divesh, you nut, wait till I get my hands on you ... Just you wait.
Ishita
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