For Divesh Thimmaiya, till we meet again..

I never thought I would start a blog, though writing is something I have even considered to take up as a profession. But there is nowhere else I can tell people about the friend I lost this saturday. The friend I had not even seen in 4 yrs but it feels like just yesterday he was grinning at me from the side of the street and saying "I like it... (pause) I like it". Someone who could make even the grouchiest person (that would be me) smile at any time of the day or night. I want to know what he had been planning , because he always had plans, on friday , or last week or last month. Not just plans that people make and never carry out, he made plans that he would make work. I want to know what were the things that had made him smile recently, because , as I told him frequently, his was one winning smile. And those eyes, I will never forget them. They were one of the brightest I have ever seen. Moreover, I want to know what he wants me to do now. I don't want to forget anything he ever said to me. And that is not a problem, I have an excellent memory ( which is why I am grouchy) but at least this time, it will serve a good purpose. I remember he said that honesty is overrated, noone can be honest all the time, lies save people, there are things you should be able to lie about , it is integrity that is important. He must have been 23 when he said that and I have never had anyone say something that profound. He had a big heart that could hold hundreds of people in it and still remember all their names and interests. When he walked into a room, people turned to look. He worked hard and partied harder. He was opinionated and didn't pull the punches, if thats what he thought was needed.
The last time I talked to him I was complaining about how I had no results and he had said that " Bada kaam kar raha hain bachcha, time to lagega" . I don't think I am doing anything big, but that sure made me feel a hundred times better and all important all of a sudden.
I wish I had called him, but my preoccupations seemed so important at the time and the fact that I knew he had many many friends and wasn't exactly waiting by the phone for my call, had me delay that indefinitely. What I hadn't realized was, that I needed to talk to him, I needed him to bring back clarity of thought using his unmatched sense of humor. I needed him. I still do. And he is gone. The one guy I knew who could actually bring change ( ask anyone at IISc, who was there before he came and since..) is gone. I was one of the privileged people who knew him. And God knows that if he hadn't been such an incorrigible flirt I wouldn't have known him at all. Thank God he drove his bike at my pace beside me around the M - Block hostel till I got on it finally. His "Oye Soniye!!!" which he used on as many females as he knew, I think, could still flatter all of them . I apparently blushed. Thats something, I never blush and to this day I would contest his observation. Maybe not.

I never knew anyone from his family, but I want them to know that not only did their son live life to the fullest making each day count, he left a mark on everyone whose life he touched. I didn't even know him for more than 6 - 8 months before I left IISc, and then India. But distances didn't matter with him. I always imagined him busy doing something interesting or annoying. And in my dreams he will continue to do that always. And till we meet again, I will live like he would have, or at least try to. But Divesh, you nut, wait till I get my hands on you ... Just you wait.

Ishita